4 Reasons to do your own personalized vows (and not exchange them in private)

Posted on February 19, 2025 by jlammerts

Expert tips from professional speechwriter Brian Franklin at Vows&Speeches

Here at A Day Like No Other, we always team up with experts in their own (wedding-related) fields to optimally serve our clients – and you, our readers! Today again we are delighted to present to you in-depth advice from Brian Franklin, co-founder of Vows&Speeches, an agency specializing in writing vows, toasts and speeches for weddings. So here we go:

Whenever I hear of people exchanging their vows in private, I feel a sense of disappointment. I wish I could have talked to them, because not only are there very compelling reasons to say your vows in the ceremony, a lot of the fear and anxiety that are often keeping people from doing so can be overcome.

Here are some of the reasons couples should do their own vows:

1) Your vows are often one of the best parts of the wedding day:

The vows, when personalized, are many people’s favorite parts! When you say your own vows—which are as much of a declaration of your love and appreciation as they are vows—it’s more powerful than the ring exchange or the I-dos. Your vows are where we get first hand insight from both of you as to what you love the most about each other, what makes you laugh, and ultimately, why we’re all here to see this. It’s a beautiful moment of vulnerability and more impactful than anyone else saying it on your behalf. If you don’t say them, do generic ones, or say them in private, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to learn about you.

2) When your guests hear your (personalized) vows, it changes the event:

When you say your own vows, then entire vibe of the event changes. People forget that many of the people in the audience may not know your story as a couple. Perhaps they came from out of town, or they’re more friends of one of the parents. Even your own friends may not know some of your funny backstory or what you saw that caught your eye on that dating app. By giving your story from your (sometimes different) perspectives, your guests can understand you better, and they get more invested in the rest of the event. Importantly, you also get to hear your fiancé say out loud all of the reasons why they love YOU, which is an awesome moment for you as you’re about to seal the deal.

3) The way to alleviate public speaking fears:

There’s a two-part prescription for alleviating any fear (or terror) you might have about public saying your own vows in front of others: Content & Preparation. (Okay… for some of you, there’s a third part: a shot of whiskey.)

When you love your vows—when you’re truly happy with what’s written and confident your vows represent how you feel and are written well—they’re simply easier to say.

This is where time is important: You need to give yourself adequate time, not just for the writing part, but for practicing out loud in front of someone who can help you with the delivery. By saying your vows, 15-20 times, out loud, you automatically get more and more comfortable. When you add some coaching on how to deliver your vows better, the fear starts to evaporate. It becomes something you know how to do.

When you love the content and you’ve been given guidance on the delivery aspects, it changes everything about how you go into these moments.

There’s an added bonus for those of you prone to sentimental crying: The act of saying your vows out loud, over and over again, takes enough of the sting out of the words to allow you to get through them without sobbing jags. Don’t worry, you’ll still get the feels, just not in the way you might be worried about.

4) They’re as much of a memento to your love as any picture, video, or keepsake.
You will always have them. Whether you watch the video, see a picture of your partner reading them, or hang them in written form on your wall, your vows are a tribute to your love and that moment you will cherish forever. During hard times, should they ever come, they become something to reference.

Vows & Speeches helps you find the words that are in your heart, and gives you the delivery coaching you need to make these moments everything they can be. For more information on how we can help you create custom vows, or for info on our wedding speech or ceremony services (or for other engagements), please visit https://vowsandspeeches.com or email brian@vowsandspeeches.com for more info. More information on our vows services can be found here.

Brian Franklin is a communications and public speaking expert and the Co-Founder of Vows & Speeches. Prior to Vows & Speeches, he was a communications and advertising consultant for political and public affairs campaigns. He’s been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, ABC News, Brides, Bridal Guide, the Knot, and many more.

How to write great vows: The 5 key elements

Posted on February 19, 2025 by jlammerts

Expert advice from Brian Franklin of Vows & Speeches

Today I have a special treat for all of you who are struggling to write your own vows: expert advice from a professional specializing in exactly THAT. I am reprinting his own “words of wisdom” – thank you, Brian, for helping us out here! We at A Day Like No Other and all our couples are so thankful for your advice!

As speechwriters for weddings and other events, we’ve helped write a lot of wedding vows. While there’s no substitute for working with a professional, where you’ll get help with both the writing and the delivery of them, here are five key elements that will help you make the most out of these moments.

1) Brevity:

The hardest part about writing vows is striking the balance between saying what you want to say and the knowledge that your guests are already ready to get to cocktails and may be baking in the hot sun. Two minutes is plenty of time to get across the most important sentiments, touch on the key aspects of your love, and still have a few vows at the end. Longer than that and it can easily be a bit tiresome and potentially start throwing off your timeline. Whatever you decide, it’s very important that you read it out loud, time it, and let your planner know how long it will be.

2) Personalization, Specificity, & Originality

Great vows don’t use generic language or clichés: They are personalized, specific, and original. For example, don’t say things like “you’re my person” but instead say “From that day that you stood in line—in the rain—to get me some pizza from Chiccareli’s because you knew it would make me happy after a hard day at work… I knew I was yours.” Don’t just talk about how much you love them… talk about WHY you love them. What do they do, specifically, that you love? What is it about them that is different? How do they show their love for you? What are the specific examples of how?

Some people, when they first hear about our business, Vows & Speeches, mistakenly think that getting help with writing their vows might make it less personal. In actuality, our interview process helps us dive deeper into their story and feelings about their partner and their relationship then they would have on their own. Over and over again, it’s the specific details we’re able to dislodge—sometimes little moments or aspects of our client’s relationship—that make for the best moments in their vows.

3) Humor

Every good relationship has an element of humor, so your vows should as well. Talk about what’s funny about you two. What makes you laugh? What do you tease each other about (that would be appropriate for a wedding). What do they do or collect that amuses you? What do they like that you hate, but can joke about? When we’re interviewing our clients, we’re looking for those fun parts that maybe won’t be laugh-out-loud jokes, but will put a smile on people’s faces and serve as a counterbalance and release from the heavily sentimental love stuff. Just don’t make jokes that could be potentially embarrassing, upsetting, or otherwise inappropriate for such an important moment.

4) Roughly equal length and quality

There is nothing more awkward that seeing one person say beautiful, fun, and meaningful vows that they clearly put a lot of time and thought into, and then it’s followed with vows that are super-short or clearly thrown together at the last minute after Googling “how to write wedding vows.” If one of you is struggling, lack the writing skills to put it together, or are just running out of time, then get help! We’re happy to help you make it shine.

5) Your actual vows have originality

At the end, there are usually 3-4 actual vows or promises, and as with the other parts of the vows, you’ll want to avoid anything generic or commonly used.

Instead, make promises that speak to what you know about your partner, or what you hope to do to be a better partner to them. You can also have a bit of fun with them. It’s the personalization of the actual vows—the originality that is specific to you and your relationship—that will make them meaningful and more engaging.

Here are some examples:

Vows & Speeches helps you find the words that are in your heart, and gives you the delivery coaching you need to make these moments everything they can be. If you would like some help to make your vows shine, or have questions, please reach out to brian@vowsandspeeches.com, and for more information on Vows & Speeches, visit: https://vowsandspeeches.com.

Poetry and songs for Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2025 by jlammerts

I’d like to share with you my all-time love favorites – poems and songs, and I hope you’ll enjoy them just as much as I do!

Here is a wonderful poem – called a “song” – so tender and subtle…

Love Song

How shall I hold on to my soul, so that
it does not touch yours? How shall I lift
it gently up over you on to other things?
I would so very much like to tuck it away
among long lost objects in the dark,
in some quiet, unknown place, somewhere
which remains motionless when your depths resound.
And yet everything which touches us, you and me,
takes us together like a single bow,
drawing out from two strings but one voice.
On which instrument are we strung?
And which violinist holds us in his hand?
O sweetest of songs.

Rainer Maria Rilke

And a romantic piece of timeless music for you: Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley.

Anja and Eric in the Redwoods

Posted on February 11, 2025 by jlammerts

A career lawyer working 12-hour days and a Dutch engineer traveling worldwide for business – when such a super-busy power couple plans a wedding, they need help. A lot of help. Anja and Eric realized that fact early on and enlisted my company, A Day Like No Other, shortly after booking their venue. As avid outdoorspeople, they had chosen Nestldown Estate, a 36-acre property of natural Redwoods, manicured lawns, elegant event spaces and whimsical extras like a lifesize toy train, a giant sand sculpture, a fairytale cottage, flying dragons… it is truly one-of-a-kind!

Our planning journey, as expected, happened with many starts and stops, depending on the couple’s workload and schedules. Catering, flowers, photo and video; music, guest entertainment, transportation and guest accommodations… there was a lot to be done! And finally, the Great Day had come.

For bride Anja, the day started with hair and makeup services by Design Her Image…

… while groom Eric was likewise busy with preparations.

Time to present herself to her groom for the first time in all her wedding beauty – First Look!

Photographer Ben Ingram and The Good Folk Film team captured every precious moment.

Meanwhile, the teams of Nestldown, A Day Like No Other, La Bocca Fina Catering and florist Green Petal Designs were frantically working behind the scenes to get all preparations done in time. Guests began arriving via shuttle (Corinthian Ground Transportation), and our DJ Woody Miraglia of Big Fun Disc Jockeys began playing prelude music in the “Chapel,” a natural clearing amidst towering Redwoods, accessed by a long flight of stairs which make for the most dramatic walk “down the aisle.”

The wedding ceremony was officiated by a longtime friend of the couple, and as such was very personal – and emotional.

Just married! “You may kiss your bride!”

While guests were invited to cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, musically accompanied by Victoria Studio (Victoria Liu), a duo playing classic Chinese tunes on authentic Chinese instruments, the newlyweds had many more photos to take…

Behind the scenes and unbeknowst to the guests, a Lion Dance Troupe (Lion Dance Me) was preparing for the big surprise of the day.

Once dining tables had been set up…

… guests were invited to attend the couple’s Tea Ceremony on the Main Lawn…

… and after that, the drumroll started!

Here come the cutest Chinese lions you’ve ever seen! They cozied up to the guests, batted their eyelashes and were altogether absolutely adorable.

Guests were delighted, and then dinner took place “under the stars” and under twinkling lights, accentuated with toasts and speeches.

After dinner, guests were invited to the “Barn” – the central function space at Nestldown – for Cake Cutting and dancing.

The “Barn” is a barn just by name (and by its architectural style) – it is in fact a rustic-elegant event space with everything you might wish for, including a monumental crystal chandelier…

… below which countless couples have performed their First Dance as husband and wife, just as these two here did. And except for the traditional Bouquet Toss and Cake Cutting…

… it was all DANCE, DANCE, DANCE for the rest of the night.

It was a truly unforgettable day. Anja’s and Eric’s Grand Send-off was the high point of the night:

Bubbles…

… and an exit in an authentic vintage London Taxi!

Bon voyage!

Allison and Jeston – whirlwind planning of a glamorous wedding

Posted on February 7, 2025 by jlammerts

If I had to give this wedding a label, it would be “classic elegance and glamour – in time lapse.” Why? We planners at A Day Like No Other had just six weeks to plan the whole elegant affair… while the couple was managing a household move! Our last vendor contract was confirmed on the day before the event. It was intense, to say the least… BUT the result was beautiful, and bride and groom were super happy!

Allison had chosen an incredible lace wedding dress with a long train and matching veil…

… and a classic bouquet in stunning purple (all florals by Green Petal Designs).

Here are their rings:

Ready for one pre-ceremony photo (all photos: Danny Dong) – without seeing each other, though!

After a wedding ceremony in their church, serenaded by harpist Aysha Gomez-Kureishi …

… the couple left for photos in a vintage white Rolls Royce (from NLS).

Off they went to the Redwoods, with their harpist bringing her gilded harp along!

Isn’t that spectacular?!

All the while, multiple vendor teams were hard at work to get everything ready for Allison’s and Jeston’s reception at the historic Peninsula Golf and Country Club – the venue team, my two production managers, Nimy and Deanna, the florist crew, and our Jazz trio (Magnolia Jazz). The gold-decorated wedding cake (from Copenhagen Bakery) was delivered, and when the newlyweds arrived, Cocktail Hour was already underway, and everything had been set up for dinner…

… in the grand ballroom of the Clubhouse, beneath glamorous crystal chandeliers. The tables were adorned with lush floral centerpieces, part of them towering and part of them low and overflowing their silver compotes …

Everybody was having a great time (including the newlyweds!) .. .

… serenaded by the Magnolia Jazz Trio.

Allison and Jeston shared their First Dance as a married couple…

… and, following tradition, the bride tossed her bouquet to “all the single ladies.”

What else? Cake cutting, of course!

After that, it was only dancing, dancing, dancing… until the couple’s Grand Send-off!

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness, Allison and Jeston!

Are you inspired for your own wedding? Contact me at jutta@daylikenoother.com for your free consultation.

A Day Like No Other – wedding coordination and design

“When only the best will do…”

Elevate your wedding 101 – the DRESS!

Posted on January 30, 2025 by jlammerts

I assume it won’t take much convincing from my end: of course you want a gorgeous dress!

I have to say that over the last years, many of my brides “knocked it out of the park” with their dresses. Have a look:

An enormous train… (which made the dress very, very heavy, by the way…)

A train AND an enormous veil …

Diaphanous tulle, with lace applique and a risque back – two of them actually:

Next: pastel floral applique:

OR: unconventional! Short and chic:

OR: figure hugging lace (especially if you have a supermodel figure!)

What is YOUR style?

Elevate your wedding 101: seating charts and escort cards

Posted on January 27, 2025 by jlammerts

Seating charts and escort cards are a great way to create a visual focal point, even a conversation starter! The options are endless, but here are a few that we especially like:

Table assignment cards tied to peacock feathers – the gorgeous feathers are for the guests to keep.

A champagne wall: escort cards tied to elegant flutes filled with bubbly!

Table assignments on “leaves” pinned to mandarin oranges!

OR “boarding passes” for bride&groom airlines, flight number = table number.

Table assignments hand-calligraphed on a shabby-chic chalkboard…

… or on a glamorous mirror.

Which one is YOUR favorite?

Contact me at jutta@daylikenoother.com for your free consultation.

A Day Like No Other – wedding coordination and design

“When only the best will do…”

Elevate your wedding 101 – dessert!

Posted on January 18, 2025 by jlammerts

“Life is uncertain – eat dessert first.” Right?!

Most wedding guests secretly just wait for THE CAKE, or, for that matter, another memorable dessert.

While a traditional wedding cake is still the “gold standard” for a wedding dessert, there are many delicious (and impressive!) alternatives – starting with a dessert buffet:

Photo credit: Gavin Farrington Photography

More attractive options include a mini donut machine…

… churros…

… or, of course, ice cream!!!

Any more questions? What is YOUR favorite?

Contact me at jutta@daylikenoother.com for your free consultation.

A Day Like No Other – wedding coordination and design

“When only the best will do…”

Elevate your wedding 101: Drinks!

Posted on January 18, 2025 by jlammerts

Everyone has a bar at their wedding, right? BUT you can do so much more!

First of all, stock the bar specifically with a selection that YOUR guests might like:

… and, of course, accompany it with delicious bites!

Greet your guests with a glass of REALLY GOOD champagne when they arrive:

Offer specialty cocktails, maybe honoring your pet who cannot attend, like here:

… and top it off with wine tasting, e.g. your favorite small-winery handcrafted wines:

… or even whiskey tasting!

And the absolute highlight: a champagne tower. None of your guests will forget that!

Now – are you inspired?

Contact me at jutta@daylikenoother.com for your free consultation!

A Day Like No Other – wedding coordination and design

“When only the best will do…”

#weddingplanning, #weddingplanner, #weddingconsultant, #weddingdesign, #weddingdesigner, #californiawedding, #elegantwedding, #weddingflowers, #weddingdress, #weddingstyle, #weddinginspiration

Elevate your wedding 101: Lighting!

Posted on January 17, 2025 by jlammerts

In my more than 15 years of designing and planning weddings, I have learned that lighting is an incredibly powerful tool in transforming an event space – and that it literally gives you “the most bang for your buck.”

String lights

Nothing conveys a more romantic atmosphere than stringlights – Bistro lights, fairy lights… whichever type you choose.

2. Uplights

They are the simplest to install, come in a rainbow of colors and allow you to highlight the attractive areas you want to showcase – while leaving everything else in the shadows.

3. Gobos (patterned light projections)

These come in a variety of shapes and patterns “off the rack” OR customized to your initials or actually ANY pattern you want, and they totally transform the dance floor or a bare wall.

4. Dance lights

These are, so to speak, the “icing on the cake.” Synchronized with the beat of your dance music, they transform your dance floor into a disco.

Intrigued?

Contact me at jutta@daylikenoother.com for your free consultation.

A Day Like No Other – wedding coordination and design

“When only the best will do…”