Category Archives: Lifestyle

The Science of Wine demystified: Trione Whites!

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A guest post by Henry Trione of Trione Winery

Trione Lineup: The Whites

Trione Vineyards & Winery grows both Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay grapes in the Russian River Valley AVA, on the River Road Ranch.

This ranch is right in the middle of the appellation, a prime climate and soil for these cooler climate varietals. The two varietals are distinctly different! From their intrinsic character to the winemaking process, Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay each take separate paths to the bottle and on entirely different schedules. To explore the differences, let’s start with their flavor profiles and work our way back to the crush pad.

When someone asks me, “What is your favorite wine varietal?” I reply, “What is the occasion or food pairing?” Applied to the white varietals of the Trione lineup, it is necessary to consider the flavor profiles of the respective wines. In the words of the Trione winemaker, Scot Covington, the River Road Ranch Sauvignon Blanc tastes like the following:

White peaches, nectarines and mandarin zest are the first hints on the nose. The acidity and sweetness on the palate are in perfect balance. This wine is mouth-watering and leaves one craving for fresh oysters, sourdough baguettes, aged gouda, a sandy beach and a setting sun.

I could not have described it better myself, but if I had to define this wine in one word it would be floral. (While also leaving me craving a sandy beach and setting sun, of course!)  Sauvignon Blanc is considered an aromatic white grape, light and refreshing with just the right amount of residual sugar to balance the natural acidity. This differs from the richer qualities of Chardonnay and the slight oak flavor imparted from the mixture of new and “neutral” French oak barrels in the winemaking process. In Scot’s eloquent words:

Bottled poetry is the description of the 2017 Trione Chardonnay. Burgundian in style of both nose and palate. Rich and inviting, this wine offers a complex mix of toasty baguette, warm melted brie; silky but with the structure demonstrating the aging potential. The 2017 Chardonnay is tasting great now but will be awesome for the next 5-7 years.

So what do you enjoy these varietals with? The answer is a resounding whatever you like! Personally, Sauvignon Blanc is light and refreshing enough that it can be a stand-alone wine, not requiring any paring to enjoy. The Chardonnay, on the other hand, is a fuller-bodied wine and in my opinion better served with seafood, poultry and lighter pasta dishes. If you want to pair the Trione Sauvignon Blanc with anything in particular, I recommend cheese or oysters. The sweet-tangy characteristics of the wine seem to do these foods justice.

Working backwards, we can see how we arrived at the individual attributes of these varietals, aside from their intrinsic qualities. Unlike the Sauvignon Blanc, the Trione Chardonnay tastes slightly oaky. To achieve this quality, the winemaking process employs the use of 40% new French oak barrels and 60% neutral barrels that have been used in one to two previous vintages already and thus do not impart all that much oak flavor, but still create a softer mouth feel than if it were produced in stainless steel. The oak compliments the grape’s natural hardiness relative to the Sauvignon Blanc grape. So, the winemaking process is quite different, and takes much longer for the Chardonnay. Without getting into the nitty-gritty, the Trione Chardonnay spends 12 months in French oak barrels, while the Sauvignon Blanc is harvested about the same time in the late summer or early fall, and already bottled by April. As Scot mentioned in the quote above, the Chardonnay is suited to age a number of years because of its robustness compared to the Sauvignon Blanc, which in my experience does not benefit from aging. Harvesting the grapes, however, is on a similar schedule. Both Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay are considered early-ripening varietals. This is because they do not need as much time on the vine to achieve the appropriate sugar content.

The differences between the two white varietals in the Trione lineup, Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay, can be attributed to both nature and nurture. Nature gave the fruit different qualities, and the nurturing of the winemaking process further developed these distinctions. The result is a wine appropriate for different situations. One is light, refreshing and floral, the other is full-bodied, rich and creamy. How you choose to enjoy, is entirely up to your personal taste, and the best way to determine that preference is to experiment for yourself.

The most exclusive coffee in the world: Kopi Luwak

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Have you ever heard of “Kopi Luwak?” It is the rarest coffee in the world, and also the most expensive (up to $700 a kilogram!), and its production method is – to say the least – highly unorthodox: it consists of partially digested coffee cherries, which have been eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus).

It is therefore also called civet coffee. The cherries are fermented as they pass through a civet’s intestines, and after being defecated with other fecal matter, they are collected.

A specialist offering this coffee right here in the Bay Area is my friend Bill Choi of Travelin’ Joe who actually introduced this exotic topic to me. Contact him for a tasting! ([email protected]). So far, so good…

Only bad thing is that the coffee is now mass-produced by keeping the civets in cage batteries, force-feeding them so they produce, well, you know what. It’s animal cruelty, plain and simple. So IF you indulge in this unique specialty, just make sure to choose the “wild” and not the “farmed” variety. And here is Jack Nicholson enjoying HIS.

Continuing education with “Masterclass” courses

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Now that I suddenly have more time on my hands than ever before (and more time than I like…) I was looking for something constructive to do – beyond my COVID-19 support & encouragement series here, that is! I wanted to widen my horizon, learn something new, and not necessarily something related to my business.

I have to give my husband credit for finding something for me, something that I didn’t even know existed: “MasterClass!” It’s a platform of online courses taught by accomplished professionals in their respective fields – chefs and pastry chefs, to start with; there is Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue; interior designer Kelly Wearstler, fashion designers (Diane von Fuerstenberg, Marc Jacobs), dancers, magicians, star architects (Frank Gehry), photography (Annie Leibovitz), acting and game theory. And many more whom I haven’t even explored yet! Each master class consists of 12-20 lessons of approx. 20 minutes – short enough to fit into my day and sometimes to even watch several in a row. This is something I am now really looking forward to every day! I already found an intuitive approach to gardening through watching “Gangster Gardener” Ron Finley (and maybe I’ll eventually develop a “green thumb” after all!) and I learned from pastry chef Dominique Ansel to make heavenly Madeleines. (BTW, all the links above lead to free sample lessons – enjoy!!)

Have a look at the course selection. The cost? You sign up for a year, and for access to all courses on the platform you pay 50 cents a day. It’s so totally worth it… and NO, I don’t get a kickback for recommending the platform. I’m simply enthusiastic!

Let me know what you think…

Hundred Hearts… and counting

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Today I want to share with you an extraordinary undertaking that I just came across. It’s called the Hundred Hearts Project – and it was started by one single person, a woman trying to fight her own depression and anxiety by reaching out to others and expressing her gratitude to them by painting one heart for each person she wanted to thank. And through giving to others, she herself began to heal. I find this story incredibly moving and impressive.

I will definitely do my own “Hundred Hearts” project. Maybe not through painting, but through writing letters, through giving my time, my thoughts and my affection to those who deserve my gratitude.

I would encourage you all to do the same!

Let me kick the campaign off with my own first “letter of gratitude.” It goes to my longtime friend Robbie Schlosser of Magnolia Jazz. The year was 2012. I had just opened my wedding planning company, starting from scratch, a total newcomer to the Bay Area wedding scene. I was lucky to secure an invitation to an industry event – but, of course, I knew no one. I tried desperately to introduce myself to the little groups of people who were in lively conversation, obviously all longtime acquaintances. Nobody was interested in me. I felt totally miserable. Suddenly a middle-aged gentleman approached me. “I believe we have not met yet… are you a new addition to our community? I am Robbie. Let me introduce you to a few people.” I could not believe it. He had not only noticed my predicament – he had stepped in to help. He literally took my arm and “worked the room” with me. Needless to say, I have never felt so relieved in my life, and I am eternally grateful for Robbie’s selflessness and generosity.

Well knowing that there is no way for me to “repay it” to Robbie, I have been “paying it forward” to all newcomers to our group in the same way ever since, and I will continue doing so. But I always wanted to say that big “Thank You.” Finally, here it is.

No Yeast? No Problem! (Try Our Soda Bread)

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Like most of us, you’ve probably always thought that bread needs some type of yeast. If you are an advanced baker, you were maybe even thinking of sourdough starters. Bread without yeast? Not really… But currently yeast is impossible to come by! During the COVID-19 pandemic, a number of commodities have simply disappeared from the market. Disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizer, to start with; followed by toilet paper, kitchen paper towels – and yeast. So what to do?

I’ll tell you. Replace yeast as a leavening agent with a combination of bicarbonate of soda and acid. In plain English: baking soda and the leftover liquid from our yoghurt project! (As you can see, nothing goes to waste in my kitchen…)

Here is what you need to make one bread – 45 min from start to finish!!

Preheat oven to 425 F. Mix 500 g flour (50/50 all-purpose and whole wheat), 1 tsp of baking soda and 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt with scant 2 cups of the whey from yoghurt-making (alternatively the same amount of buttermilk OR regular milk mixed with 1-2 tablespoons of lemon juice or white wine vinegar). Stir just to bring the dough together.

It will look shaggy and be a little sticky. Turn out on a slightly floured work surface. Knead just enough to achieve a smooth consistency. Shape into a ball.

Transfer the dough ball to a nonstick cookie sheet. Cut crosswise nearly all the way through.

Bake for roughly 30 min until a golden crust has formed and the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped.

And here is your delicious bread – ready to eat! Should you (miraculously) have any leftovers, just rewarm in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes; tastes like fresh-baked. Enjoy!

Hotel Nia – the new Game Changer in Silicon Valley

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Never heard of Hotel Nia? REALLY? It’s time you did! A brand-new, cutting-edge modern, ultrachic hotel in the heart of Silicon Valley, catering to the young, hip crowd of tech entrepreneurs.

Just opened a few months ago. Top-notch interior design by Colum McCartan in shades of light grey and silver, combined with white oak and many, many beautiful details!

This hotel is DIFFERENT. It starts when you pull up to the valet. You don’t get a paper ticket to retrieve your car later. Paper tickets are so antediluvial!! You share your cellphone number, you get a text with a link – once you want your car back, you simply click on that link, and – voila! WOW…

When you step in, you are immediately surrounded by tranquillity – acoustic (triple window panes, thick carpet…) and visually (light grey and silver tones, light wood, lots of natural light), and it takes a while until the myriad details reveal themselves. The walls in the lobby with their subtle texture and pattern – they are real Venetian plaster. The decor inside the elevator matches the pattern of the custom carpet. And so it goes…

Just step in and sit by the bar, or sit outside in the beautiful courtyard garden – it’s all inside/outside!

Or grab a bite in NIA’s Mediterranean restaurant – just walk down the hallway… no walls that would obstruct the transparency or natural light – just open shelving-like structures that feel utterly modern but certainly not cold. Oh, forgot to mention – don’t be fooled: there are charging stations everywhere. Those mirrors – become TV screens when you switch them on. This is the new techie refuge, after all!

Looking for your meeting room? Just follow the thread…

… up the stairs! That woven thread actually “originates” in a huge (real) ball of yarn on the landing… just one of so many whimsical touches.

Guest rooms are likewise simply beautiful. Have you ever seen a levitating bed? Well, at least it looks like it’s floating…… and a backlit closet with glass doors that elevates your wardrobe to a display in a Dior boutique! It’s serenity, tranquillity, and the luxury of simple lines, perfect proportions and great workmanship. “Simplicity is the utmost sophistication,” as Silicon Valley icon Steve Jobs used to say. He would have loved it…

But the NIA is absolutely not only for work and conferences – it’s for celebrating and partying just as much (their Grand Opening in March was the most coveted event far and wide!). A ballroom for 380 should be good enough for most private parties AND for wedding dinners and dancing!

Yes, you see that correctly: built-in mood lighting in any color you want. A dance floor in matte silver, at your request. Chic and modern cocktail tables in the foyer – no need to rent them. So many possibilities!

Speaking of which: the NIA knows how to decorate – even their Christmas trees are in perfect harmony with their overall design theme…

… big, bold and silver! Hope to see you there!

The Honor – and the Cost! – of Being a Bridesmaid

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Your bestie just got engaged, and of course you’re over-the-moon happy! But maybe you’re also silently dreading the thought of being a bridesmaid. After all, it’s a big commitment that can potentially mean spending a good amount of money on a dress and on wedding-related festivities. While the bride and her family may be covering costs through savings  or a wedding loan, you should make sure you have the budget to cover your obligations as a bridesmaid.

Today we’re going to break down the cost of being a bridesmaid and share some tips for saving money along the way.

The Bridesmaid Dress – Average cost $150

You might think the bridesmaid dress is a “non-negotiable” in terms of spending money. After all, you have to buy whatever the bride picks out, right? While it is true that you shouldn’t go rogue and show up in a random dress, you can still save money while adhering to the bride’s wishes. You may get lucky!  You can find many popular bridesmaid brands like David’s Bridal, Vera Wang, BHLDN and more on secondhand clothing sites like Tradesy and Poshmark. Most people wear a bridesmaid dress only once, so you can rest assured that it will be in like-new condition. Just make sure you get a clear picture, the name and the exact color of the desired dress from the bride so you can verify that you’re purchasing the right one. If that approach doesn’t work, you can still re-sell or donate your “as-new” dress afterwards.

Bridesmaid Accessories – Average cost $120

Your bride might give you a bridesmaid gift of jewelry to wear on the big day, but you could still end up having to purchase special undergarments or shoes to go with your dress. Borrowing accessories is a good way to cut down costs in this area. Just poll your other friends who have been bridesmaids – one of them is sure to have something to help you out! Online retailers like zappos and discount stores like DSW are insider tips for finding gorgeous heels at an affordable price. And if you’re looking for an extra-special accessory, you can also rent designer pieces from Rent the Runway at a fraction of the cost.

Hair & Makeup – Average cost $125

If your bride is requiring that you get your hair and makeup professionally done, etiquette says that she should pay for it. If your bride isn’t requiring that you get your hair and makeup professionally done, consider skipping this expense altogether or only picking one service to save money. There is a large selection of makeup tutorials on YouTube, so do some experimenting and try to master one go-to makeup look that you can rely on for the big day. If you are planning on splurging for professional services, don’t forget to factor a tip into your budget.

The Bridal Shower – Average cost $50-$150+ per bridesmaid

This is one area where it’s great to get the bride’s family and future family involved to help cut costs. Does the bride’s mom have an immaculate garden and patio at her house? Ask if you can host the shower there. Join forces with your co-bridesmaids. Is one of them an amazing baker? Ask if she’d make the dessert for the shower. Most people will be thrilled to honor the bride by contributing their talents in a small way. Co-hosting the event with several bridesmaids or family members also means you can split the cost which allows you to splurge on a few special items.

The Bachelorette Party – Average cost $80-$300+

You can still throw an unforgettable party for your bride without breaking the bank. Picking a local spot for festivities will significantly cut down on the cost, but can be hard if bridesmaids are spread out. If travel is unavoidable, look into splitting an Airbnb with the group rather than booking a swanky hotel. It will be even more fun for the whole group to be sharing the same house and being in a cool place to have your first cocktails and cook your own “morning-after” mimosa brunch together – all the while saving big! Martha Stewart Weddings has even put together a list of some seriously awesome Airbnbs available in popular bachelorette destinations.

 

As you can see, the cost of being a bridesmaid can really add up fast, but it’s one expense that will be more than worth it. The money spent on showers and parties will ultimately translate into quality time spent with your friend during one of the most exciting, most unique – but also most stressful times in her life. Standing next to her as she says her vows will be priceless and will make it all worth it!

 

 

How to Plan Your Financial Future as a Couple

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imageHow to Plan Your New Financial Life as a Couple

Future newlyweds have so much on their plate when they first decide to tie the knot. They have to plan the wedding and take care of a thousand and one responsibilities so that everything goes off without a hitch.

Financial planning as a new couple is a conversation that’s often pushed way in the background. But should it be? What happens if you aren’t financially compatible? Where do you go from there as a couple?

Instead of ignoring your new financial life, do yourselves a favor and tackle it head-on. This is something that you need to do as a newly married couple. Since money problems are the main reason that couples argue, it makes sense to get on the same financial page in the marriage as early as you can.

Having the Dreaded (or Not so Dreaded) Money Talk

In a perfect world, you’ll realize that it’s important to have the money talk as soon as your relationship begins to get serious. Many couples find themselves financially connected before they actually get married. The sooner you have the money talk, the better it is for the relationship, and the better chance you’ll have at thriving as a couple.

Everyone has their own views about money. Some of us live like money grows on trees and that it is available in unlimited abundance. And depending on your financial situation – it might be. Others feel that money is a finite and limited resource. They work hard to scrimp and save so that they can get ahead and live comfortably in retirement.

Both members of the couple need to come together financially. Having the same money views is not necessarily required. But if you are too far apart on this topic, it could make it difficult – if not impossible – to live and grow together as a married couple.

Creating Common Financial Goals

If a couple seems too far apart on money issues, it may seem like all hope is lost for the relationship. But this doesn’t need to be true as long as you’re willing to compromise.

Instead of throwing in the towel, create common financial goals as a couple. When you begin working together to achieve common financial ground, not only will your relationship grow stronger; you’ll also begin t0 live happier lives and feel good about money and how it now has a positive impact on your relationship.

Have Regular Money Meetings as a Couple

Unfortunately, all of your money inconsistencies will not disappear after one conversation. This topic needs to be discussed regularly so that you consistently stay on the same page.

Money problems are going to arise. As a couple, you must commit to regular communication so that you can hash out money matters together. By holding regular money meetings, you can plan for your future together, set a budget/review your current budget, come up with ideas for a fun filled vacation, discover creative fundraising ideas, and so much more.

If you want to start off your married life as a happy couple, getting on the same page in your financial life is an absolute must. Heed the warnings shared with you today and use this information to guide your financial future.

 

How to Make Sure Your Wedding is Fun for Everyone!

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For pretty much all our couples, their wedding day celebration is by far the biggest party they’ve ever thrown, and the most intricate project they’ve ever tackled. Aside from the planning and logistics themselves, what is necessary to make the wedding celebration fun for everyone? What is it that sets an average party apart from an unforgettable one which everyone keeps raving about? I’m not talking about over-the-top-glamour, Hollywood-worthy entertainment or other perks only big money can buy. I am talking about the little things, the personal touches that make everyone feel good and special and well taken care of. To me, that’s an integral part of the overall wedding experience, just as much as good food and music.

1. You, the couple – totally worry-free

1.) Couple worry-free

Let’s begin with the stars of the day: you, the Bride and Groom! Here at A Day Like No Other, our mantra is: Our couples have only ONE job on their wedding day, and that is – to celebrate! All our couples tell me afterwards that their wedding day flew by and that they can hardly remember all of it. We strive to maximize what our brides and grooms remember. We want you to be in the moment and to focus on what this day is about: committing your lives to one another. And that’s why we make sure that everything you might need and want on your wedding day has been meticulously planned ahead of time. Plus during Cocktail Hour, when most couples are busy taking photos, we make sure a platter of appetizers is set aside for them in a quiet side room with a chilled bottle of Champagne, and once photo session is over, we whisk them away for a few minutes of well-deserved break before presenting them to their guests.

2. The couple is “off-limits” for anything but celebrating!

What else? We, the planners, make sure that nobody will bother our couples with anything during their wedding day. Another mantra – or rather our promise to our couples: “If there is a glitch, you will not know!” It’s true: we do what is humanly possible to keep our couples out of it. And if you don’t have a wedding coordinator, you should absolutely designate one point person for all logistical issues and whatever else might come up. We at A Day Like No Other are even wearing funny buttons identifying us as the wedding planners… and invariably, that does not only “crack up” everyone – they will also find us and ask us for assistance. No one interrupts the couples’ partying!

3. Your parents

3.) Ancestor table 1

3.) Ancestor table 2

For most parents, their children’s wedding day is at least as important as for the bride and groom themselves. It’s an occasion they have been looking forward to since bride and groom were children, hoping for them to find a soul mate and lifelong companion who will take care of them once the parents are gone. Giving a child away in marriage is a milestone in parenting. It’s also a day to look back on all the sweet memories of that now grown-up man or woman when they were little, when they had just entered the world, and also to think back to one’s own wedding day, one’s own parents. It’s definitely a day of memories. And that’s why we encourage all our couples to include such memories in their celebration, e.g. , as a gallery of family photos.

4. Your older guests

4.) Older guests

Most of our couples invite quite a few older guests – grandparents and other relatives of that generation. Oftentimes, these feel a little lost in a crowd of young people. We make it a point to include them and make them feel an integral part of the couple’s family history. One unobtrusive way of making older guests feel good is to include music choices they are comfortable and familiar with – be it a few Frank Sinatra or Elvis songs or 80s top hits. Yes! It is possible to mix those in, and you should see those smiles on their faces! And in lieu of a bouquet toss, we often do a “generation dance” with the bride presenting her bouquet to the guest couple with the longest-lasting marriage.

5. All guests: look after them!

For many guests, attending a wedding means taking days off work, planning and paying for travel… despite the joy of seeing a friend or family member getting married, it’s also a lot of effort. Guests appreciate being well taken care of – they tend to remember that experience even more than the food! So, let’s make them feel special and well-taken care of. Here is what we recommend: Keep guests well informed, and the easiest way is a detailed wedding website. We recommend our couples to offer logistical help to their guests whenever possible, be it for accommodations, local climate and choice of attire. Plus, this is also a good spot to drop a hint regarding dress code… politely. Nobody wants to be seriously under- or overdressed for the occasion! The more the guests know beforehand, the easier it is for them to plan accordingly.

6. Help your guests with the logistics

The same holds true for the schedule of the wedding day itself. We recommend to include on the wedding website one page devoted to nothing but the logistics: Directions, parking restrictions, shuttle bus service, specifics about the property (e.g. walks over uneven terrain), cell phone reception, and when guests are expected to be where.

7. Make your guests feel welcome

7.) Welcome-bags

Nothing makes guests feel welcome more than – Welcome Bags! Yes, we know, it’s a lot of work to assemble them (we do that for our clients…) Include personalized bottled water), snacks, local specialties like small bottles of wine or olive oil, local chocolates; a walking map and/or brochures for local sightseeing trips. And then, of course, a personal letter from the couple expressing their joy to have all these guests from faraway locations together for their wedding day.

8. Keep your guests comfy

8.) Comfy guests

And that’s why the pampering of guests doesn’t stop just there! For the wedding day, we  recommend a welcome bar with chilled (nonalcoholic!) beverages; for outdoor weddings a sunscreen/bug repellant station; market umbrellas shading the ceremony area, fans (maybe imprinted with the ceremony program), personalized paper parasols doubling as a wedding keepsake; amenities baskets in the bathrooms, simple “pashmina” shawls or blankets for outdoors celebrations and a basket of flip-flops for beach weddings and long dance parties.

9. Your youngest guests

9.) young guest 1

Let’s admit it: weddings are not for kids. Take that from a mother! The excitement about the decorations and the big white dress is wearing off after a maximum of ten minutes, and then kids want to do what kids always want to do: explore, play, do their own thing. Make sure that they get to do exactly that and have just as much fun during that wedding as their parents – just a different type of fun: their own area, their own babysitter(s) and their own activities. Activity bags, maybe even a kids’ entertainment company or a “sleepover party” with cartoon movies and pizza. Everybody’s happy!

10. Your Doggie

 

10.) Bride and dog

Well, same thing with dogs. Weddings are just not the thing for them. Just imagine: they are brought to a new, exciting, and maybe upsetting environment full of strangers, their “parents” don’t have time for them, they are expected to be quiet instead of inspecting and, yes, marking the new territory; regular walk/nap/meal times are all out the window AND they are even not supposed to bark! That doesn’t sound right to me. And yes, you guessed it, I am a dedicated doggie Mom. At A Day Like No Other, we offer a “VIC” (Very Important Canine) package – a dedicated dog handler on wedding day whose main task is keeping doggie happy, walking and feeding her, playing with her and chauffeuring her home as needed. But even if none of that is in the cards – you should plan for your dog’s well-being on their Great Day as you would for any other family member or guest. At the very least, designate a person not directly involved in the wedding for doggie care (the Maid of Honor is not a good choice, as she will be busy during the ceremony and during photo time…). It should not be a young child or a person unaccustomed to dogs. It should be someone who is willing to sacrifice part of the celebration time for this purpose, and gladly so. Provide an area where your darling can safely stay, protected, in the shade, and maybe in her familiar crate. Do bring her familiar food, treats, and toys. And should your fur baby get upset, your doggie babysitter can drive her home for a short while until her newlywed parents arrive – and the canine world order is happily restored!

2.) Coordinator or designated person

Published on Honeyfund Blog, 6/26/16

“How I Do it All” – by Alison Howard

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Alison Howard is a fellow wedding planner (and a wildly successful one!), speaker, coach and mentor and fills a lot of other roles on top of that – among other things, she’s a wife and mother, too. I admire her to no end! How on Earth can she do it all? She lifted her secret on her blog, the Alison Howard Blog, on May 13 of this year. And she was generous enough to let me re-print it.

HOW I DO IT ALL…

First of all, I don’t.

Maybe it’s because you see that I’m a wife, a mom of three, a wedding planner and a business coach, I make videos here and there, I speak at conferences, I cook, I clean my own house, I work out fairly regularly and I occasionally do my hair and make-up that leads you to wonder “How does she do it all?” (Which just so happens to be one of the questions I am asked the most.) But the truth that I hope most of you know deep down in your gut is that no one does it all.

I do all those things listed above, but not all at once and not all the time or nothing would be done well. For example, as I write this, I am in sweats, unshowered, and a general mess.  No amount of money would draw me out into public in my current state.  But that’s because I chose to spend an hour cleaning my kitchen this morning (which I didn’t have time to clean on Monday – seeeeee…..!!!) instead of getting ready.  Also, writing this post doesn’t require that I get ready, so I didn’t.  And that’s pretty much what it boils down to.  Priorities and choices.  Cleaning my kitchen and writing to you trumped vanity today. Tomorrow I am coaching two new wedding planners, so vanity will trump and I will choose to get ready and be presentable for those meetings (you’re welcome Amber and Diana!).

I’ve gotten used to this balancing act in my own life but for those who are new to juggling so much responsibility, here are a few tips that I discovered and clung to when I realized that I had two choices: sink or swim.  I hope they help you to keep your head above water as you wear more hats than you thought possible, with a measure of elegance and grace.

Get Up Before The Sun

I absolutely know how difficult this is and how not fun it is to wake up early, but this is a total game changer if you can will yourself to do it – I promise!  Most mornings I get up early, around 5am, while everyone else is asleep (except my husband, he gets up early too).  Depending on my schedule that day I workout for 30 minutes then read my Bible and pray (and have coffee!) for 30 minutes – my hour of power is what I call that!  This helps me get into the right mindset as I prepare for the day.  Working out early in the day leaves me with so much energy and just makes me feel positive as I go through the morning routine with the kids.  Do I do this every day or perfectly?  No.  Some mornings it is more beneficial for me to get an extra hour of sleep.  On the weekends I don’t get out of bed before 7am unless I have to.  But most mornings the early bird thing is my jam and my productivity is so much higher those days.

Ask For Help

I ask for help when I need it.  I started my business when my daughter was two years old and I have had two more children in the past 8 years.  I juggled and did my best on my own, which is what I think most of us do because when you start a business you’re usually broke as a joke from investing into said business.  At least this was the case for me, but I made it work.  Emails were answered during naptimes; meetings happened in the evenings when hubby was home, weddings on weekends.  For vendor meetings or speaking engagements I’d get a sitter, but I just made it all work because I had to.  I was in hustle mode.  Honestly, it’s really kind of a blur.  ; )  Once things got so busy I didn’t think I could do it on my own I hired a nanny for a period of time because I desperately needed the help.  There is zero shame in asking for help.  Zero.  Whether it’s hiring a nanny for a season, a cleaning lady a few times a month or bartering something you do well (like cooking) with something someone else can do (like carpool). Get creative and make it happen.

Know Your Limits & Just Say NO

My personal rule: no emails or calls after 5pm.  This is my family time and that time is so precious to my soul.  I need it.  It trumps any email or phone call.  However, life happens and there have been times when I’d have a big project that required extra time and so, yes, I would work after 8pm when the kids were in bed, but it be wouldn’t answering emails.  If you send emails at 10pm that sends the message that you are available for your clients during that time and that is a boundary that I just had to have in place. I never booked more weddings than I thought I could handle (which was 15, 20 max, but my sweetest spot was 10 weddings).  I never overcommitted or felt that I had to attend every networking meeting or luncheon that I was invited to.  I have said ‘no’ to several opportunities because they didn’t fit in with my life even though they seemed cool.  Embrace the fear of missing out professionally so you don’t miss out on your life personally.

Calendar EVERYTHING

Your blog schedule, video schedule, deadlines, kids appointments, date nights, your own appointments (personal and professional), workouts, errands, and even time for rest…get it all on the calendar.  I always schedule a few hours a week just to read, get a massage, grab lunch with a friend, paint (painting with watercolors is a fun new thing I’m learning); this gives you some margin to exhale and enjoy something that isn’t work-related.  I have two separate calendars; one for work and one for family.  They both hang on my wall in my office so that I can glance over and see everything that is going on.  It’s also all on my calendar on my phone, but I like being able to see it without opening my phone because we all know how easily we can get sucked down the rabbit hole that is the phone.  If it’s not on my calendar, it doesn’t exist for me.  Once upon a time I could get away with not being a slave to my calendar but that is not the season I’m in anymore and even though I don’t particularly like it, I know I’m lost without it.

Domesticated Duties Day

Monday’s are my day “off” to get my house in order for the week.  I am the person in our family who does all of the cooking and most of the cleaning.  Let me be really honest and express that this part of ‘doing it all’ was the hardest for me to embrace mostly because of my ego. That’s right, I said it. I used to struggle with thinking that I was too good to be cleaning the house…I mean, I could be spending my time doing more important things.  Other times I’d think that it was unfair that my husband gets to work 8 hours uninterrupted while I cart the kids around, work, cook, clean, AND have to be pretty while I do it all!  This is where I had to check myself and adjust my perspective.  I am so dang BLESSED to be able to work from home and do all the things I do.  And as you already know, I don’t even get ready most days, so there goes the whole pretty thing. : )

Let’s talk cooking first: If cooking for your family is something you do (or want to do), meal planning is essential.  I meal plan for the week every Sunday evening and grocery shop every Monday morning.  I cook a lot in the beginning of the week so I don’t have to cook Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.  As for cleaning: I don’t like cleaning house any more than you do BUT I do love a clean home.  Few things feel better than everything being clean, in its place, smelling all good…it’s like jumping into a Pottery Barn mag and it just makes me feel happy. Monday’s I deep clean the bathrooms and kitchen after I grocery shop.  Laundry is done daily and the kids have been taught to do their own (praise the Lord). Vacuuming, dusting, mopping, changing bed linens is done Saturday mornings.  The kids have been taught to clean their own rooms (yes, we do have to help occasionally and re-teach this as they are just so dang forgetful ; ).  We pick up things left out daily so that clutter doesn’t consume us.  I really stress teamwork in our home and the kids are (mostly) on-board.  I have this part down to a system that works really well for us.  Again, if you are not domesticated or don’t have time to be, outsource!  There is zero shame in this.  Because I work from home and make my own schedule I am able to do it with a (mostly) joyful heart.  If you want to know more about meal planning or keeping house just ask in the comments and I’ll share in another blog post.

Be Kind To Yourself

You have to have grace for yourself.  I’m sure you have all heard the popular adage “progress, not perfection”, but it’s totally true.  Some weeks I’m insanely motivated and do all this really well.  Other weeks I’m just off and half of this doesn’t get done.  That’s life.  Balancing marriage, parenthood, and being an entrepreneur is hard and no one expects you to move mountains.  So deep breath and do your best and when you can’t, give yourself permission to stop, recharge, and ask for help.  Ultimately, know that you aren’t in those beautiful trenches alone (and that this season won’t last forever). : )

 

Shine on,

Alison